Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The Others.

I know I dedicate a lot of time on this blog to Blake because of his medical condition.  It's just an easy way to pass along information to people without having to repeat myself 100 times. :)  There's something that is always on the forefront of my mind though - the others.  Jenna.  Brody.  Bowen.  I think about, almost on a daily basis, how Blake's situation affects them.
Take this example from this morning:  I was in taking a quick shower and heard Brody running from the kitchen to the living room yelling, "Blake's going to puke!" Don't be alarmed.  Kidney kids puke a lot.  I quickly finished and walked into the living room to find Brody holding a towel under Blake's chin (like he has seen Aaron and me do a million times) and saying, "It's going to be ok, Blakers.  It's going to be ok."

I could instantly feel the lump in my throat.  I felt two things mainly, as I tend to in situations like this.  1.  I felt proud of how the others (especially Jenna and Brody) handle Blake.  They are growing up so fast and are just so caring and helpful.  2.  I felt sad that this is normal to them and they probably don't even think anything of it.

I feel like Jenna and Brody understand for the most part what's going on.  We don't hide things from them and have always been honest.  But I wonder about Bowen.  What does he think when he sees his twin brother get a shot?  Or his blood pressure taken?  Or hooked-up to a dialysis machine?  Here's what I do know.  Bowen understands things like we do Blake's BP and temperature every night.  It is Bowen's job to turn on the blood pressure machine and then push the button when I tell him to.  It's also his job to hand me the thermometer.   That's his "job"  and he does it.

Aaron said to me that he thinks because we handles things in a positive manner, that our kids will follow our lead.  Does Blake's situation suck?  Yes.  Can we do anything right now to change it?  No.  We cannot stress about things that are out of our control.  Blake being born with kidney disease is one of those things.  It is what it is.  How we choose to handle it is our CHOICE.  We choose to make the best of it for us.  For Blake.  For Jenna. For Brody. For Bowen.

One more example:  The kids saw a lady walking around town who has a very pronounced limp.  They asked why she was limping and I just told them that she maybe has a bad hip or leg.  And I followed it up with, 'you know, just like Blake has a bad kidney." They responded with, "Oh, ok."  They said it like they immediately understood.

I have to believe in my heart of hearts that all four of my kiddos will be better people because of this.  I hope that they are filled with kindness.  And compassion.  And an openness for people that aren't the same as everybody else.  But mainly, a loving and caring heart. 

If you're still reading this, thank you for letting me ramble.  I needed to put these thoughts down today.  Sometimes my heart just needs to vent... :)


Anonymous said...

How right you are that we choose how to react to our uncontrollable situations. And I firmly believe that how they see us react teaches our children how to respond to matters that are beyond their control.

Mary or Jerod said...

I admire you guys so much. All of your kids are going to grow up to be empathetic and accepting people. You two are doing such a great job!