I could instantly feel the lump in my throat. I felt two things mainly, as I tend to in situations like this. 1. I felt proud of how the others (especially Jenna and Brody) handle Blake. They are growing up so fast and are just so caring and helpful. 2. I felt sad that this is normal to them and they probably don't even think anything of it.
I feel like Jenna and Brody understand for the most part what's going on. We don't hide things from them and have always been honest. But I wonder about Bowen. What does he think when he sees his twin brother get a shot? Or his blood pressure taken? Or hooked-up to a dialysis machine? Here's what I do know. Bowen understands things like we do Blake's BP and temperature every night. It is Bowen's job to turn on the blood pressure machine and then push the button when I tell him to. It's also his job to hand me the thermometer. That's his "job" and he does it.
Aaron said to me that he thinks because we handles things in a positive manner, that our kids will follow our lead. Does Blake's situation suck? Yes. Can we do anything right now to change it? No. We cannot stress about things that are out of our control. Blake being born with kidney disease is one of those things. It is what it is. How we choose to handle it is our CHOICE. We choose to make the best of it for us. For Blake. For Jenna. For Brody. For Bowen.
One more example: The kids saw a lady walking around town who has a very pronounced limp. They asked why she was limping and I just told them that she maybe has a bad hip or leg. And I followed it up with, 'you know, just like Blake has a bad kidney." They responded with, "Oh, ok." They said it like they immediately understood.
I have to believe in my heart of hearts that all four of my kiddos will be better people because of this. I hope that they are filled with kindness. And compassion. And an openness for people that aren't the same as everybody else. But mainly, a loving and caring heart.
If you're still reading this, thank you for letting me ramble. I needed to put these thoughts down today. Sometimes my heart just needs to vent... :)