Thursday, September 4, 2014


My birthday was August 20th.  I felt like it was a big deal.  I turned 34 and if you're wondering why that number is significant, I guess it's not really, but all the "other stuff" made it so. 

When I got to thinking about my 33rd year, that's where the significance came in.  Year 33 was without a doubt the hardest year of my life, in so many different aspects.  The obvious answer is everything we went through with Blake.  I spent almost five months living at the hospital. Living away from my husband and three other kids.  I experienced the scary day.  A kidney transplant.  Infection after infection.  Christmas at the hospital.  The emotional roller coaster that is having a child living with kidney disease.  Things had never been as hard with Blake as they were in my 33rd year.

But, at the same time, things had never been as joyful either.  Blake, my little fighter, triumphing again and again.  I have concluded that sometimes things are so hard you don't know how you can possibly make it another day, another hour.  Especially when you're in the midst of things and feel like you are emotionally spent and just want to cry and throw in the towel.  Now, at 34, after a few good months, I can say I truly appreciate each and every day I get at home with our family all together at home.  I have a grateful heart.

It's ok that I have to argue with Brody about getting out of bed for school.  Or that I had one twin poop in the sandbox yesterday and another in his pants.  It's ok that Jenna and I butt heads almost daily because we are too much alike.  Or that I have nights where I have to catch-up on 13 loads of laundry because I just haven't had time to fold it.  You know what?  Because of everything, I'm just lucky to be home to deal with the chaos that is my life.

Also in my 33rd year, was that I ran my very first half marathon.  13.1 miles.  Then, I did it again a few months later.  Two half marathons.  I never ever ever would have thought I would say that I did that.  It was hard.  It took an incredible amount of dedication to training and time and having a supportive husband to get it done.  I just felt so determined to prove to myself that I could do it.  And I'm nothing if not competitive with myself!

I learned that I am so much stronger than I ever could have imagined.  I learned that I am more determined than I could have ever imagined. I learned that I'm tougher than I could have ever imagined.  I learned that I am braver that I could have ever imagined.

So, I say bring it on 34.  I'm ready for you.  I think you're off to a great start and can't wait to see what you have in store!

No comments: