The way I see it...

Fear of Failure, Part II

If you remember in my February 18th column I wrote about my fear of failure. I explained to you that I had a challenge and I wasn’t sure if I was going to do it or not. Basically, because I was scared of not being able to do it.

I guess I have to fess up and tell you the truth. My challenge was running an 8K (4.96 miles) in Newton, that happened to be last weekend. I didn’t do it. I was nowhere near ready and where I needed to be in preparing for it and being able to complete it.

Here’s a little background about myself and running. I have never been a runner. I did every sport in high school except track. My parents “encouraged” me to go out in seventh grade to just try it. That was my one and only season out for the sport. Not that I don’t like it, I just knew it wasn’t for me.

I come from a long line of non-runners. It’s kind of weird now that I think about it. We are sports-minded, competitive people, who just aren’t tracksters. Please don’t misunderstand me, I go to track meets and am in complete awe of runners.

Fast forward to last year’s Rose Festival. I got this hair-brained idea about this time last year that I was going to run the 5K (3.1 miles). I don’t know why, I think I had a mental lapse or something.

Anyway, I’m proud to say I did it! I didn’t break any speed records, but I did it and it gave me a great feeling of accomplishment (once I finally was able to catch my breath!).

I have a love-hate relationship with running. I drag my feet in actually going down to my treadmill, think bad thoughts in my mind while I’m doing it, but love working up a good sweat and the “runner’s high” I feel when I’m finished. But, the next day, I go through the same routine.

So, even though I didn’t run the 8K, I’m happy to tell you that I signed up for a 5K in Mankato this Saturday. Even better, the run will benefit the organization my sister-in-law works for - LEEP (Leisure Education for Exceptional People, which serves individuals with developmental disabilities).

Pre-race jitters have already started, but if I have to run and walk and walk and run, I will cross that finish line. For me, that’s the important thing, just that I finish, but that’s just the way I see it.